Yes, People Actually Searched These on Google

Remember how we covered the insanely useful tool “Search Term Query Report” in last months blog posts? 
If you haven’t read it, you really should – if you want to make the best money out of your advertising campaign.
The Search Term Query Report tells you the exact searches made by Google users, that triggered your campaign keywords- and as a result, your ads.
Cool right?
At Infotel Multimedia, we use this report to consistently streamline our clients keywords within their campaigns and make sure our ads are supported by keywords directly related to what people are actually searching for.
And while most of the Search Term Query Report provides valuable insight and data, sometimes, we find the STRANGEST searches made. These happen mostly when we’ve taken over an account– where there are loosely aligned keywords and no negative keyword lists to be seen.
These searches brighten up our days, which can be long here. We’ve picked our top 20 “what the #&%&” searches we’ve seen- and we’re going to brighten up your day too.
Note: There are some crazy spelling and grammar errors in here. Don’t blame us.

Top 20 Favorite “what the #&%&”  Google Searches

#1- “Hey Gogle how r yu can yu tell me how to get rid of mouse”

(Google is doing great every single day, trust us).

#2- “who wil built me free house”

(Literally no-one….)

#3- “dos the CEO wallmart make more than one million year

(We are going to assume they are up there, yep.)

#4- “9 hours of cat noises to get rid of mouse in house”

(Web Dept checked: this exists).

#5- “how long take for mice eat instant potatoes to explodre aftr est it”

(Truly hoping no mouse was hurt in the course of this search.)

#6- “google show me images of chickens show me images of bed bugs now”

(Still looking for how these two are related?)

#7- “my wuife wont make me sandwiches”

(Get a new wife?)

#8- “I cheated on my wife what desert should I get her”

(A new husband, for sure)

#9- “I think im in love with my rat

(Poor rat!)

#10- “ok google does kelowna bc Walmart have the right to ask me to leave for brrwing items”

(We are no lawyers, but we think they likely do, yep.)

#11- “can rats drink bud light”

(They could, probably wouldn’t have a rat for too much longer. If you are going to kill your rat this way, pick something better than Bud Light.)

#12- “where did the American goverment go”

(What. A. Question.)

#13- “I think I vacuumed the hamster”

(Well your child is going to hate you, and not much Google can do at this point sorry to say)

#14- “what can I sue sineone for I f I need cash”

(We see this endeavor going far, best of luck. That being said, a women DID win a lawsuit against McDonalds for not telling her that coffee was hot, so maybe buddy does have a chance on finding random lawsuit.)

#15- “why does pizza have cheese on it?”

(Because how else would everyone feel guilty after eating it?)

#16- “cheap lawyer for fraud charges”

(Might want to fork out for that one….)

#17- “was bird box based on a true story”


#18- “what is the dfifference between a car salesman and a regular sales man?”

(We guess that one sells cars and the other doesn’t, but that’s just a guess)

#19- “my mom keeps adding my friends on Facebook”

(Been there sister, moms are ruthless when they discover social media.)


And finally, the question of our Infotel Multimedia lifetime…..

#20 – “how much do I have to pay google to show my website and not anyone elses”

(Cue: the entire web team scream, give up and die.)


Don’t waste your money on clicks like these

On a serious note, search engine users do click on ads after searching these bizarre things. You really don’t want to be spending money per click, on search terms like these. If you aren’t monitoring your Search Term Query Report, you could be spending hundreds of dollars in the world of strange Google searches.
Want us to monitor it for you? Talk to us. Let’s see how much of your ad budget is being thrown into the fascinating – yet strange- world of the Google search engine bar.